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Transformers

Another piece of my childhood, raped by Hollywood.

The movie would have been much better if they'd stuck to the original series canon, i.e., the Decepticons are after Earth's energy supply, not after some "cube" that magically creates new (and apparently only evil) robots out of everyday items.  It felt more like the awful post-movie Gen-1 episodes, the ones with Rodimus Prime and the Autobot Matrix.

Apparently they can't do lasers in CG yet, so all alien robots are equipped with machine guns and/or rockets.  And everyone uses the Infinite Ammo cheat code.

Did we really need to spend 10 minutes searching for the glasses?  OK, the robots are tearing up the lawn, we get it!  Get on with the damn movie!

If the Autobots want to protect human life, why take the cube into the middle of the nearest big city?

I thought Silver Surfer was going to win the award for Most Obnoxious Product Placement, but I think Transformers stole it away easy.  It's little more than a 2 hour commercial for the 2008 Chevy Camaro.  (And wasn't Bumblebee a VW Beetle?)

The robots were too robotic for my tastes; during the fight scenes, I couldn't really tell what was going on, it was just a jumble of parts flying around.

I could go on and on about this.  But I won't.

The best part of the whole movie was the previews before the movie started.

"Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a Spiderpig does..."

*dies laughing*